Full transcript of Charlie Murphy's True Hollywood Stories - Rick James
Speaker Key:
DC as RJ is Dave Chappelle playing Rick James.
RJ is Rick James.
and CM is Charlie Murphy
commercial
CM: The studio 54 thing, you know, that blew over you know what I'm saying. But you know, here we go again.
RJ: Cocaine's a helluva drug!
CM: Cause Rick is incorrigible. He shows up at my brother's house, fucked up.
DC as RJ: Nice place, nigger!
CM: So he had these dirty cowboy boots on. Pushed us out of the way, barged in the house. My brother had these brand new couches, they were suede, right? And he gets on the couch and says...
DC as RJ: Why don't I stretch out? Hahaha!
CM: And just started grinding mud all into the couch, man.
RJ: Yeah, I remember grinding my feet into Eddie's couch.
Offscreen dude: You remember why you did it?
RJ: Cause Eddie could buy another one.
DC as RJ: Fuck your couch, nigger! Ha ha! Buy another one, ya rich motherfucker. Fuck your couch, nigger. Fuck your couch! Darknesses, darknesses!
CM: Cause of my complexion, he used to call me darkness. He calls me and my brother darkness. Darkness brothers. See, this was long before Wesley Snipes, back then we was the blackest niggers on the planet according to Rick James.
RJ: Eddie and both of them darkness. Twin brother darkness.
CM: And we're standing there looking at him and he's looking right in our eyes as he grinds this mud.
RJ: See, I never just did things just to do them, c'mon I mean, what I'm gonna do just all of the sudden just jump up and grind my feet in somebody's couch like it's something to do? Come on, I got a little more sense than that. ...Yeah, I remember grinding my feet into Eddie's couch.
RJ: See, I never just did things just to do them, c'mon I mean, what I'm gonna do just all of the sudden just jump up and grind my feet in somebody's couch like it's something to do? Come on, I got a little more sense than that. ...Yeah, I remember grinding my feet into Eddie's couch.
CM: But then it was like 'You know what? Let's handle this' We went over there and we held him down and we just wailed on his legs.
DC as RJ: Awwww! You Darkness. You black. Midnight. Evil motherfuckers. Black magic, darkness. Darkness. Delirious motherfuckers. You are cold as ice.
CM: But still, Rick James, even after taking a beating like that.
DC as RJ: Fuck your couch, nigger!
CM: This motherfucker's goin out, his legs is like linguine.
DC as RJ: I've been kicked out of better homes than this. I'll be back, you black motherfuckers. Wide nose having motherfuckers. They should've never given you niggers money. You don't know how to appreciate shit. You know you can get another couch. What am I gonna do about legs, Eddie Murphy!
CM: My brother, you know, he's a lot more compassioniate than I am. He's lookin' and the limo's driving off and he says 'Wow man, Rick really needs help'. I was like 'Sho, we just gave him some help! Busted his fuckin' ass. I betcha he won't come over here and disrespect like that again.' WRONG! WRONG! You're talking about Rick James, man.